Books and Tapes
The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships
Sobonfu generously applies the subtle knowledge from her West African culture to this one. Simply and beautifully, she reveals the role of spirit in every marriage, friendship, relationship, and community. She shares ancient ways to make our intimate lives more fulfilling and secure and offers powerful insights into the "illusion of romance," divorce, and loss. Her important and fascinating lessons from the heart include the sacred meaning of pleasure, preparing a ritual space for intimacy, and the connection between sex and spirituality. Her ideas are intuitively persuasive, provocative, and healing--and supported by sound practical advice, along with specific rituals and ceremonies based on those used for thousands of years. With this book, the spiritual insights of indigenous Africa take their place alongside those of native America, ancient Europe, and Asia as important influences on Western readers. This book has been translated into four other languages German-Swedish hem.passagen.se/kentaur/ forfatt.htm-French and portuguese www.calamo.com/viajes/ suenos-articos.jpgYou may order a signed copy through us at awsevents@aol.com or write to: 5960 South Land Park Drive #200 Sacramento, CA 95822. All profits from book sales go to benefit our water project, women and children in Africa.
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Welcoming Spirit Home: Ancient African Teachings to Celebrate Children and Community
A natural sequel to Sobonfu Some's book on ritual and intimacy, Welcoming Spirit Home draws on the wisdom of the African ancestors to show how to build communities where children are not only welcomed but prized. The author demonstrates how ritual and the spirit can be used to enrich daily life. "This is a teacher who can help us put together so many things that our modern Western World has broken,"
-- Alice Walker, Author of The Color Purple.
You may order a signed copy through us at awsevents@aol.com or write to: 5960 South Land Park Drive #200 Sacramento, CA 95822. All profits from book sales go to benefit our water project, women and children in Africa.
Note: this book is currently being reviewed and will be available soon.
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Falling Out of Grace: Meditations on loss, healing and wisdom
"This book received a quality and the 2004 best book review from the American bookseller association."
When African spiritual teacher Sobonfu Some underwent a major transformation in her life, the widely respected mentor found herself "fallen out of grace" with her family, students, and community. In an effort to understand this situation, her students more than ever became her teachers. And through them, she learned that losses and failures are a natural, even necessary, part of being human. Some brings this universal law to her third book, where she addresses ways to respond to disappointment in oneself and others with strength, creativity, and faith. Focusing on seven principal arenas of life - romantic, spiritual, familial, professional, political, communal, and mortal - she describes how individuals can approach and respond to inherent challenges in each. It is Official, the book is out Now!!!!!!!!! ORDER YOUR SIGNED COPY NOW. WRITE TO: awsevents@AOL.COM
ADVANCE PRAISES FOR FALLING OUT OF GRACE
Editorial Reviews
Erica Helm Meade, author of The Moon in the Well This courageous book is an inspiration for using failures as teachers, and thus finding the true meaning of grace.
Robert Bly, author of Iron John This is a generous, high-spirited and thoughtful work about coming back into the flow of grace. A lovely book.
Suzanne Arms, author of Immaculate Deception Blending ancient African wisdom with contemporary western experience, Somé has written another wonderful gem.
Gioia Timpanelli, author of Sometimes the Soul Here is an important book, filled with stories both practical and transcendent, by a wise teacher and a compassionate woman.
Gay Luce, Nine Gates Mystery School Somé encourages us to understand our losses as opportunities to grow. She unveils a process of becoming more alive.
Excerpted from Falling Out of Grace: Meditations on Loss, Healing and Wisdom by Sobonfu E. Some. Copyright © 2003. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
From the Preface
I have been pregnant with this book for a long time. The idea grew out of a discussion I had with a friend, now more than six years ago, as we explored different ways of dealing with personal crises. The deeper we got into our subject, the more clearly I saw how difficult it is to address our failings and find ways to restore ourselves without considering the larger community, our professional lives, our spirituality, and so forth.
After an evening of pondering these related ideas, bringing to bear many of my own experiences related to home, relationships, work, and what I saw as my role in the world, my friend concluded, "Sobonfu, it sounds like you have fallen out of grace."
I wondered, at first, what in the world she meant by "falling out of grace." I thought, "Oh, no. Here is one more English phrase I have to learn."
My friend explained her meaning, and for a short while thereafter I was intrigued. "Falling out of grace. What a fascinating idea." But as I sat with it, I became increasingly uneasy, to the point that, eventually, I became upset. "Why would she suggest such a thing? That isn’t me, is it? Could I have fallen out of grace, as she says, and not even be aware of it?"
In the days that followed, as I reflected on our conversation, it became evident to me that I had, indeed, fallen from grace. There was no doubt in my mind. I had done so in many dimensions of my world. The feeling of being out of grace was everywhere present in my life, and yet I had avoided finding words to describe it. Perhaps I believed, at some level, that as long as I did not put my situation into words, questions could remain, and I could look for answers to them later if they didn’t just go away on their own.
The first such questions were raised in 1991, when I left my village in Burkina Faso and came to the West. Already I was trailing a huge elephant called "Failure." The simple fact of leaving behind the security and support of the village can be understood as a fall from grace. Life away from my community for more than a decade has also been a great challenge, and I have experienced many crashes. The collapse of an intimate relationship, and the loss of a brother and beloved uncle have been, perhaps, the most significant of these. Even now, as I complete this book, I am aware of how far I have fallen from the grace of my cultural roots. For many generations the wisdom of my village was preserved by a strictly oral tradition, and from this an encroaching world has persuaded me to break away.
I tell you, it can be easy to take comfort in believing that one’s misfortunes are caused by others. I could blame the elders, sitting in the village thousands of miles away, who are unaware of, or do not understand my struggles in the West. But that would mean not healing, being a prisoner in my own trap, fearful of change. Instead I have taken refuge in the words of one of my wisest teachers: my grandmother. "Failure is the best thing that can happen to you," she once said.
I still remember when one of my brothers came back from school, upset and fearful because he had failed a grade. When the news got to Grandmother she said to him, "Is that what’s worrying you? Well, if they cook a sauce and you do not like it, then cook something to your own taste." If my brother did not like what was being taught, she proposed, then he should put it aside and turn his energy toward the things that interested him.
When my brother’s teachers heard this, they were offended, but for us children, it was not only funny (especially when said in Dagara), it was music to our ears. Grandmother’s advice has stayed with me ever since, and has given me strength to find in failure the paths to growth I would have otherwise overlooked.
I realized the minute I decided to write this book that it would never be complete. We are in a continuous process of rebuilding ourselves, in ways unique to every situation, and so long as we live we are destined to fall again. In addition, there are more ways in which one can fall out of grace — and come back to it — than could ever fit within a book. You will find thoughts and stories here that are incomplete or unresolved. They, too, hold lessons, and this was the only way to write truthfully.
Failure will always exist, and the book that matters is written individually every day of our lives. My wish is that you will write it for yourself in a way that brings healing, wisdom and peace.
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Women's Wisdom From the Heart Of Africa by Sobonfu Somé
In the Dagara tribe of West Africa, women are valued as the source of the world’s wisdom. They are valued as dreamers, as diviners, as the backbone of the community—the core of human survival. But what can the teachings of this indigenous culture show us that will transform the way we live? On Women’s Wisdom from the Heart of Africa, Sobonfu Somé—author, teacher, and the first woman empowered by the Dagara elders to impart their teachings to the West—invites you to peer into a world where people remain closely connected to nature, their ancestors, and spirit, and to learn how to use powerful rituals to restore balance within yourself and with those around you. Secrets of the Dagara Storytellers Sobonfu Somé, whose name means “keeper of the rituals,” was raised in her small village and sent by her elders to continue her education in the United States. With Women’s Wisdom from the Heart of Africa, Somé shares authentic spiritual teachings of her tribe that were formerly handed down only within the circle of Dagara village life. These teachings are founded on a worldview that honors animals, plants, and trees as our elders, and human beings as the newcomers. From this revered relationship with the natural world, we learn how to live in unity with our environment, and create a deeper connection with spirit. Discover Your True Gifts—and Offer Them to the World through Ritual and Celebration How do we find this connection to spirit? For the Dagara, ritual is the gateway. Distilling the essential practices of her people, Sobonfu Somé shows you how to: “check in” with spirit to receive guidance; observe the sacred spaces of your home; harness the energy of the elements; strengthen your relationships; create balance in your professional life; and much more. “What are your unique gifts?” “What were you born to contribute?” “What can your community do to assist you?” These questions are asked of every unborn Dagara child while still in the womb. Now, you have the chance to explore these and other questions, and to discover your inimitable gift as a woman with Women’s Wisdom from the Heart of Africa. Women’s Wisdom from the Heart of Africa Highlights: • Use ritual to discover “power places” in nature—and in your body • Form a council of women to initiate growth and change in your community • How to relate to your life cycles and honor them as times of grace, beauty, and immense energy • Leadership as seen through the eyes of Dagara women: a different way of using your power • How to create a shrine in your home to call in the divine • Your unfiltered intuition: a guide you can always trust • Call in the “spirits of the elements” to create balance and harmony • Reclaim your ancestral lineage to learn who you are and what are your greatest strengths • Visible and invisible power: tapping into your own sacred energy • How to use grief and mourning to restore, renew, and regenerate your spirit • Draw upon your dreams to guide, support, and encourage yourself and others • Ritual: the key to connecting with spirit—and with the people you care about • Seven hours of rituals, reflection, and stories to immerse yourself in the traditions of the Dagara tribe and expand any spiritual practice 6 CDs, 7 hours $69.95 ALSO AVAILABLE ON CASSETTE $59.95AUTHOR PROFILE: Sobonfu Somé Sobonfu Somé is an author, teacher, and leading authority on African women’s spirituality in the West who has traveled extensively throughout Europe and North America conducting workshops. Her books are The Spirit of Intimacy, Welcoming Spirit Home, and Falling Out of Grace: Meditations on Loss, Healing, and Wisdom. Somé is the founder of Ancestors Wisdom Spring, an organization dedicated to the preservation and dissemination of indigenous wisdom. She is also involved in an ongoing project to provide water to the Dagara villages of West Africa. Call 916-446-5536 to Buy
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Sobonfu's Books Reviews In Spirituality and health
Book Review by Frederic and Mary Ann BrussatThe Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient Teachings in the Ways of Relationships Sobonfu Some William Morrow 02/99 Soft cover 10>95 and Hardcover $19.95 ISBN 0-688-16450-1
Here is a cross-cultural masterpiece filled with fresh and eminently practical ideas about restoring meaning and purpose to community, marriage, and family. Sobonfu Some was born and raised in Dano, Burkina Faso, a West African village of 200 people. There she learned that spirit — the life force in everything — is what animates all relationships. Her name means "keeper of ritual" and, along with her husband Malidoma Some, she conducts seminars and workshops around the world on the relevance of indigenous ideas and practices to modern problems.
"I see so many romantic relationships in the West being driven by control and ego. To bring these relationships back to health, people must begin to see that spirit is behind their being together and to put control and ego aside," Some writes. Intimacy is "the song of spirit" and community is the divine orchestration that sustains the melody. The author shows how rituals of renewal and cleansing are necessary to nourish a marriage.
Some has many wise things to say about the illusion of romance, the link between sex and spirit, conflict in a relationship as a wake-up call to remind us of purpose, and the role of the ancestors and friends in sustaining marriage. The Spirit of Intimacy stands head and shoulders above most popular resources on relationships. It offers deep wisdom that has been proven by the test of time.
Book Review by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat
Welcoming Spirit Home: Ancient African Teachings to Celebrate Children and Community Sobonfu Some New World Library 10/99 Hardcover $16.00 ISBN 1-57731-009-8
In the West, many children grow up feeling that they are unwanted intruders in the busy schedules of their parents and invisible strangers in the ongoing activity around them in their communities. They don't seem to have any purpose, and their existence is considered insignificant. Sobonfu Some, author of The Spirit of Intimacy, is an initiated member of the Dagara tribe of West Africa. In this soul-stirring book filled with indigenous wisdom, she explains the all-important role of children in her tribe: They are "the life-givers, the healers, the messengers of the ancestors. They bring out the spirit of the community — they bring spirit home."
Each child, in the African view of things, is valuable and irreplaceable. Along with elders, they are the VIPs of tribal life. In order to illustrate just what this means, Some outlines nine rituals connected with the incoming soul of a child enacted during preconception, pregnancy, the birth process, and afterwards. These rituals accent the child's purpose and his or her meaningful role in the context of the community. After reading Welcoming Spirit Home, you'll want to give more attention and intention to the celebration of your children's birth, growth, and role in the larger community. Ritual, on these pages, is the sacred path to what Some calls "continuous prayer."
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Falling Out of Grace BOOK REVIEW By Adelia Kehoe
BOOK REVIEW Falling From Grace, Returning to Grace book review by Dee Kehoe(excerpted from Talking Leaves: A Journal of Our Evolving Ecological Culture, Volume 13, Number 2, Summer 2003, published by Lost Valley Educational Center, 81868 Lost Valley Lane, Dexter, OR 97431, www.lostvalley.org, www.talkingleaves.org, editor@talkingleaves.org, (541) 937-3351)
If I were to recommend one new book as essential reading this summer, it would be Sobonfu Somé's Falling Out Of Grace: Meditations on Loss, Healing and Wisdom (North Bay Books, El Sobrante, CA, 2003). On nearly every page I found pithy, profound passages so startlingly applicable that I needed to share them immediately with friends--words that often pertained exactly to a discussion I'd just had with someone, or to a situation we'd been pondering. A member of the Dagara tribe in Burkina Faso, Sobonfu first emerged from traditional life in her tiny West African village very reluctantly, at the urging of her elders, who recognized her gifts and destiny. She remains deeply connected to the life of her village and to her elders, sharing the profound wisdom of her own ancient traditions while learning to navigate the perilous, promising, inevitable interface with "modernity." Her thought-provoking insights and observations have proven popular around the globe. Her first book, Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient Teachings in the Way of Relationships has been translated into five languages. Alice Walker recently cited Somé's second work, Welcoming Spirit Home: Ancient African Teachings to Celebrate Children and Community, as her favorite book. I myself devoured that one in about 48 hours, and found my world forever widened. This latest book hits even closer to home. Deeply personal and unsparingly reflective, it grew out of personal tragedy. "One day my world fell apart.... In those days I felt so small and pitiful that I thought even death would reject me." Falling Out Of Grace describes the concentric circles of relationship, family, community, culture, and universe that are meant to support us in a state of alignment and harmony with our own center, with other beings, with our life purpose. It looks at what happens when they fail. "Falling out of grace shakes us up. It reconnects us to the larger universe in order for us to see ourselves anew. It forces us to rediscover where our true center begins, and to learn what needs to be set aside." In reflecting on her own experience, Sobonfu offers her bracingly unique and intriguing perspective on topics from Family and Intimate Relationships to Leadership and even Death--all in the context of falling from and restoring a state of grace. In a world that seems to have fallen seriously out of grace, these observations offer hope and perhaps some navigational aides to steer by. Take this example from her chapter on Leadership: "One challenge I have observed is that communities in the West sometimes want to put certain people on a pedestal, to make them larger than life.... Leadership is...a skill just like painting or storytelling or haircutting or anything.... Leadership doesn't make people superior beings. It just makes them good at what they do--at leading. "The Mossi of Burkina Faso have a saying: 'A king is as good as the people he rules.'... If we see a problem, rather than saying to our leaders, 'Why can't you fix it?' we need to say to ourselves, 'Here's an area where our help is needed.'" I like to fantasize how the political climate might change in the next year if enough people were to adopt this viewpoint. In fact, this whole book seems to extend comfort simultaneously to individuals and to a country and culture in transition--her own as well as ours. We're in this together. "Let us give gratitude for all that happens to us--especially for the hard things, for they are messengers of wisdom. And then we can loosen our grip on old ways and let our lives change. We need to let go even of those people and ways and things that we want dearly--in order for them to find their own way back to us, or for something better and more true to take their place."
Dee Kehoe teaches Naka-Ima at Lost Valley Educational Center, where she has been a resident community member for the past three years.
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Spirituality and Healthy book review for: Falling out of Grace by Sobonfu Some
Sobonfu's Books Reviews In Spirituality and health Book Review by Frederic and Mary Ann BrussatFalling Out of Grace: Meditations on Loss, Healing and Wisdom Sobonfu E. Some North Bay Books 08/03 Paperback $14.00 ISBN 0972520023
Read an excerpt on transformation. Sobonfu E. Somé was born and raised in Dano, Burkina Faso, a West African village. There she learned that Spirit, the life force in everything, is what animates all relationships. Her name means "keeper of ritual," and she conducts seminars and workshops around the world on the relevance of indigenous ideas and practices to modern problems. This volume on the art of transforming failures into gifts is her third work following The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient Teachings in the Ways of Relationships and Welcoming Spirit Home: Ancient African Teachings to Celebrate Children and Community. Over the past decade living in the West, Somé has experienced the collapse of an intimate relationship, the loss of a beloved brother and uncle, and the challenge of celebrating the healing powers of community in a culture where competition and individualism remain foremost in the consciousness of so many men, women, and children. The African author believes that the state of grace is "that holy and contented way of being that each of us strives for. It is that state, auspicious in the spiritual realm, in which we work out all our difficulties with care, and function peacefully in connection with other people in the flow of life." But again and again, we experience a fall from grace that brings suffering, loss, and feelings of failure. Somé writes: "In the Dagara tradition, Spirit brings the lessons of life through falls from grace. Crisis comes as an instigator of change; it takes you to somewhere new, where you find a higher meaning and purpose. If you are going to learn and grow, you can't just be stuck in a particular place. Crisis breaks you out and creates the space for Spirit to teach you. This breaking away from a place of stagnation, a place of comfort, and moving forward to a more perfect way is what we call a spiritual life." Somé is a clear teacher of the wisdom of the African way of living a spiritual life every day. In chapters on family, community, work, leadership, intimacy, health, and mortality, she contrasts how people in the West deal with loss, disappointments, and failures with the traditions of her African village. A simple illustration comes in the following example: "In many cultures, including the Dagara, the idea is that you sculpt your face as you live, and each wrinkle shows a particular joy or pain you have survived. You would never have a facelift in order to look younger, or color your hair when it turns gray. That would be a loss of beauty, a loss of grace." http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/books/books.php?id=6590
An Excerpt from Falling Out of Grace: Meditations on Loss, Heling and Wisdom by Sobonfu E. Somé Sobonfu E. Somé applies the wisdom of her African village tradition to common challenges in life. Here she talks about how to view failure. "If we are going to achieve our purpose in life, we must be willing to fall out of grace and accept its lessons. When we feel righteous about ourselves, or deny our brokenness, we are fighting against the higher states of grace that await us. "Failure is built into grace. You cannot have one without the other. It's like two sides of a single coin. Everyone who has achieved a state of grace is certain at some point to fall, and to have fallen many times before. Every successful person, everyone your respect, will tell you that they have mountains of failure behind them. "Dealing with reversals is much easier in my village than it is here in the West. In the village you have people concerned about you and support you, knowing that their own happiness is dependent upon you. They also understand that failures are life-giving, that they are the engines of wisdom. Failures, they say there, come to show you that you are stagnant or wandering or that you have work to do. "Here is something I have been taught, and which I have had to learn over and over again through experience: To fall out of grace is a gift, one of the greatest gifts that one receives in life. "When we are in grace, we begin to take things for granted and we actually stop working on ourselves. Falling out of grace shakes us up. It reconnects us to the larger universe in order for us to see ourselves anew. It forces us to rediscover where our true center begins, and to learn what needs to be set aside."
Copyright (year) by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat. Reprinted with permission from href="http://www.SpiritualityandPractice.com">SpiritualityandPractice.com
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